Unforeseen Consequences
by CerebrallyPerpetual
Summary: A heavy storm has hit the base, respawn is down, and the Admin is expecting them to fight. To save themselves, the RED team packs up to move maps... but no one will be prepared for the unforeseeable consequences that follow. Rated T for TF2.
1. Blackout

** [Hullo hullo hullo, people of the TF2 fandom! So this is me actually trying to write something after like a year of not writing anything. This is also my first attempt at a TF2 fanfic. I changed my account name from Taryn Ravensong to CerebrallyPerpetual so my tumblr followers and such could find the story if they so choose. I also cleared out all my old fanfics gathering dust.**

** Anyways... the title and such for this is still pending. For now, yes, it is named after that Half Life quote/chapter. I have the entire story planned out as well, but it'll take a while for me to write it because I have to gather up the ability to write before starting each chapter. **

** Fair warning: Feels lie ahead. Not in the immediate future of the story but... they're still up ahead. Anyways, please read and review with any comments you have on the story!**

** Disclaimer: I don't work for Valve and I certainly don't own TF2. If I did there'd be more hats and even more canon for these poor canon-neglected characters...]**

The entire RED team was woken up at precisely 3 a.m that morning.

The storm had been going on all last night- relentless wind and rain as black clouds rolled in- but the thunder had apparently just started this morning, probably sometime near midnight (Scout was the only witness to this, as, apparently, he was still up around that time.). This became apparent as the entire base awoke with a start to an immensely loud clap of thunder.

The RED Medic stood up from the floor, picking up the chair that had tipped over backwards. He must've fallen asleep doing paperwork again, seeing as his latest papers from the night had writing that was sloping downwards at a 90 degree angle and words that were a mixture of German, English, and a variety of shapes and numbers.

He glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed at the time. It was too early for this. They usually got to "sleep in" till about 6, even on ceasefire days, due to their Soldier's strict policy. Even with this policy in place several team members could get a few extra hours of sleep in- a process that usually involved Sniper heading out to his van and someone (typically Scout) knocking Solly out.

He opened the door to the hallway and several frenzied doves flew out. At this point he didn't really care where they went- they tended to stay out of the rain anyways, and if they needed to get back in the lab they typically just broke the windows.

Engineer was already in the kitchen by the time Medic got there, reading a newspaper and eating toast like it wasn't the middle of the night. Scout was lying stretched out, face-down on the cement floor. "Mornin'," Engie said without looking up.

Medic looked down at Scout, then up at Engie, who glanced at Scout as well. "He was like that when I got here," the Texan said, leaving it at that. Medic accepted this as a perfectly valid answer, all things considered, and peered out the window, frowning. Even in the pitch black of the morning it was easy to see the rain coming down in sheets.

"The power's out," Engie remarked casually from the corner where he was sitting. "Everything."

Medic turned to look at the shorter man. "Everything?" He repeated.

"The intercom, the lights, everything." Engie confirmed. "Even respawn."

Medic crossed his arms and turned to look out the window again. "At least it is Saturday," he sighed. Perhaps by Monday the storm would have passed. Engie grunted in agreement.

The kitchen doors suddenly slammed open. Medic and Engineer both turned as a very wet and angry looking Sniper stomped in, sunglasses askew on his face. He shot a glare at the Engineer, who was obviously trying not to grin and failing at hiding it behind his newspaper. The Australian didn't even bother to question about Scout, instead opting with kicking the younger man upside the head as he angrily started a pot of coffee.

"Vhere is the rest of the team?" Medic asked Sniper, who shrugged and made some sort of noise that could be taken as an 'I don't know'.

"Spy was in the hallway earlier," Engie replied. "Not sure where he went though." No surprise there. Scout chose this moment to finally wake up, rubbing the back of his head and looking around, confused. No one even looked at him, still choosing to ignore him.

"What was that explosion earlier?" Scout asked, his words slurred and only half-discernable. "Was it the cyclops? I'm so gonna kick his freakin'-"

"No, and no, you aren't," Engie cut Scout off, giving him a glare. "Respawn's down. Power's out." Scout blinked and looked around.

"Yeah, I knew that," he responded, scoffing. "I mean, it's real freakin' dark in her and crap, so..."

Respawn being down wasn't that much of a big deal- it had happened occasionally in the past, always resulting in an immediate ceasefire so that the Engineers could work on trying to fix it. It had never lasted more than a day, but it had never happened due to a power outage. Then again, there had never been a storm this bad.

"MAGGOT! YOU CANNOT GO BACK TO SLEEP! THIS. IS. WAAAAAR!"

The four men in the kitchen turned as the sound of yelling broke out from down the hallway- obviously Soldier was getting in a fight with _someone_, though it was anyone's guess as to who. No one could beat Soldier when it came to yelling. Scout listened intently at the exchange of insults going on down the hallway for several minutes until the door finally was slammed open once again and Soldier marched in, stopping and looking rather surprised that anyone was up before he was. He looked like he was about to open his mouth to say something, but suddenly Demo flung himself through the doors and tackled Soldier to the ground, whacking him repeatedly over his helmet with a broken bottle.

"I... TOLD... YE... NEVER... WAKE ME UP... BEFORE 8... EVER... AGAIN!"

Medic and Engie both scrambled to their feet, trying to pry the two men away from each other. Soldier kept screaming insults (among others, "SKIRT-WEARING CYCLOPS"), which, needless to say, didn't exactly make it easy. "It's too early for this," Sniper remarked, pinching the bridge of his nose with the hand that wasn't holding his coffee.

"Ten bucks on Soldier winning," Scout said suddenly, watching the fight with interest. Sniper gave him a look.

"Yer on."

It took several minutes to finally separate the two mercenaries from one another, and Medic still had Demo's arm twisted around to keep him from lunging at Soldier again. "Now listen," Engie started, hard hat askew on his head. "The power's out, and that means respawn's down. So we can't have any fightin' today, got that?"

Demo nodded crossly, but Soldier muttered something under his breath. Engie gave him a cold look and he silently nodded, looking away. "Good." Engie said, satisfied, and went to go back to reading his papers.

Medic released Demoman's arm, turning and heading back out of the kitchen and away from the madness. He supposed that it was impossible to fall asleep after being awake for this long- then again, it was pretty hard to fall back asleep on a normal day, they were so used to getting up and ready for battle.

He had just turned down the hallway when he crashed directly into Spy, who, strangely enough, was _running._ Not his normal, cool stride or his mildly-troubled jog he typically used, but an actual, frantic run. The Frenchman simply held out a letter in his hand to Medic, who was clutching at his now-aching forehead. Medic glanced at Spy, then at the letter. "Vhat?" He asked, not understanding why this warranted Spy's earlier rush.

"It is a note from ze Admin," Spy said simply. Medic's eyes widened. The Admin _never_ sent them notes unless it was something serious- she used the intercom most of the time. Even when the intercom went off, she would occasionally send a messenger to check in on them. The last time they had gotten a note was when Sniper got busted for sneaking out of base (no one likes to recall that incident.)

"Vhy give it to me?!" Medic's voice rose an octave and he thrusted the letter back to Spy, who backed up.

"I do not want to read it to ze rest of the team!"

"Neither do I!" Medic protested, but Spy was already backing away. Medic groaned in frustration. "Get the rest of the team," he waved a hand at Spy, who nodded smugly and headed off.

Everyone's head turned as Medic walked back in to the rest of the group. Scout's eyes immediately fell on the letter in his hand and he sprang to his feet, running over to snatch it away.

"Is it mail? Is it for me? What's it say? Lemme see it, Doc, it might be somethin' important!"

"_Nein_!" Medic cried, holding it an arm's length away. "Move, _häschens_! It is from the Admin!" Everyone stopped in their tracks, turning to look at the note in his hands.

"What's it say?" Sniper asked with an almost reverent tone of voice. Medic shrugged, looking to the doors behind him as Spy re-entered, this time followed by Heavy and Pyro. One could only guess that they had been talking together- well, close enough to talking. Heavy's broken english and Pyro's mumbling lead the two to have only half-understandable conversations. They had apparently gotten to understand one another well enough, though.

Everyone looked expectantly at Medic, who ripped the envelope open and unfolded the note, eyes scanning over it briefly before he began to read, clearing his throat.

"RED Team," he began. "I am certain zhat you are all avare of ze recent electrical difficulties-" only the Admin would ever call it that- "Mann Co. is currently experiencing. Rest assured, ve have our best people on it.

"Until it is vorking again, I am afraid that I must ask you to continue fighting the BLU's, as this minor problem is no reason zhat you should not be vorking. It is, after all, part of your contract.

"Signed, ze Administrator." Medic folded the note back up and looked around expectantly as the rest of the team tried to let this set in.

"She wants us," Scout started, "To fight the BLU's without respawn? Dat's freakin' insane! We'll all die!" He laughed hysterically.

Engie rubbed the back of his neck. "It is a little unusual," he agreed, looking around. "What would she gain by killing us all? We've never had to fight without respawn before..."

Spy glanced at the clock. It was only 3:30. The round would more than likely be starting at 4, giving them the standard half-hour to prepare.

"What if," Sniper began, and his tone of voice made everybody groan. When Sniper started any sentence with a 'what if' it usually meant something incredibly stupid was about to follow. "Just hear me out! What if we just refused to fight?" He leaned forward at that last bit, looking around with raised eyebrows.

Everyone exchanged looks.

"Actually," Scout began slowly. "That ain't such a bad idea. What can she do, fire us? It's better than dyin', ain't it?"

Everyone mumbled in agreement. "I think that's the best idea you've ever had, Slim," Engie said, nodding to Sniper.

"There is just one flaw," Spy started. "Need I remind you that if we do not fight, she will come and kill us herself?" He pointed out. "Relatively?" Of course she wouldn't ever do it herself- it'd be people working for her to kill them- but the point still stood.

Now it was everyone's turn to sigh dejectedly. "Well shoot, I didn't think about that," Engie said, rubbing his chin. "But..." he looked around. "I do have another idea," he admitted, meeting everyone's gazes. "But you ain't gonna like it."


	2. You ain't gonna like it

**[That wasn't even a cliffhanger so I'm posting the next chapter immediately after I finish it to prove that it wasn't because... it wasn't, it was just a good stopping place**

**OH BUT THERE'LL BE MORE CLIFFHANGERS IN THE FUTURE.**

**Thank you SO MUCH Chaos for reviewing this! It honestly does mean a lot. You're kind of my idol when it comes to TF2 fanfiction because your story is just AMAZING and the fact that you even slightly enjoy this story makes me happy**

**Anyways, here's chapter 2. WOOHOO**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own TF2.]**

The entire team exchanged glances around the room at Engie's comment. There was several long seconds of silence before Sniper spoke up.

"I say any idea's a good idea at this point," he chipped in. Medic nodded slowly in agreement, and Engie leaned back in his chair, waiting for further comment.

"But why would she even have us fightin' on a Saturday?" Scout demanded furiously. "I mean, forget about respawn and all dat. It's a SATURDAY! I'm pretty sure dat's illegal!"

"I suggest that you stop your whining and listen to ze laborer's idea," Spy said coldly, adding to the conversation for the first time that morning. He had been sitting there smoking in the corner, not even reacting to anything. He never really did- Spy was easy enough to ignore, seeing as that's what he did to everyone else: ignore them. Scout shot him a nasty look, but then turned back to Engie and waved his hand in an uncaring manner to continue.

Engie took a deep breath. "Alright, look. If we stay here we either get killed for not fightin' or get killed fightin', right?"

"Correct," Medic agreed. "But I still do not see vhat you are getting at."

"I'm _getting'_ there," Engie said patiently. "We've all left the base before, more than once, in some cases," a couple of glances were thrown in Sniper's direction, "and we've all left to drive to the next map." This much was true. If it was a far enough away map- such as Coldfront- the Admin had people to fly them there, but on most occasions the team just drove in the two vans they had available.

"I think I know where you're goin' with this," Demo said from the corner, a grin starting to creep onto his face. Engie shot him a smile.

"Exactly. If we pack up and leave- I don't know where, I don't _care_ where, we might just be able to lose her. Sure, she'd know we were leaving, but thanks to Slim and the Doc's... substantial... driving skills, we might just be able to lose her before she could get us."

"Plan is stupid," Heavy rumbled from against the wall. "Will get entire team killed."

"_Possibly _killed," Engie corrected him. "And that's the closest thing to bein' alive that we've got at this point."

"So basically," Scout said, "Any choice we make we get killed, right?"

"Killed, killed, or possibly killed," Sniper corrected him.

"Yeah, dat's real promisin'."

The rest of the team was silent, trying to let everything really sink in. Their odds were slim. Very slim. And with respawn down, if they died, that was it. But if they left the base... well, it was possible they could get away alive. At least stay alive long enough till respawn was back up, or until they were far away from the Admin. But where could they go? Another map would still be property of Mann Co., and they didn't exactly know... well, anywhere else. They'd been fighting here for over 3 years now, even though their contracts only lasted for 1 year. This place was beginning to feel a bit like some sort of prison- even more so now.

Engie himself wasn't sure what he thought of his idea. It was certainly a better plan than dying, but really it was just prolonging their death, running away from the inevitable. Even if they did get far away from the Admin what would they do? They couldn't get back to their homes- they only had 2 vehicles. All their money had been sent to their families back at home or stored in a bank somewhere. They hadn't seen any of the outside world for 3 years- only what existed at Teufort.

Pyro was the first one to speak up from the group. "Mm mmph mmph," it said deliberately, turning to give a strange sort of smile at Engie (at least, he assumed it was a smile. It was certainly a friendly type of look.).

"I guess it ain't that bad of an idea," Scout agreed with Pyro grudgingly. "But I ain't goin' in Sniper's van." He pointedly ignored Sniper's death glare that was turned in his direction.

"Who votes we go with Herr Engineer's plan?" Medic, of course, was the one to step forward. Pyro raised its hand, as did Scout, hesitantly. After a few moments of hesitation Sniper's hand went in the air, followed by a small raise of the fingers from Spy. Medic looked around the room again. Demo's hand was raised, along with Soldier and of course, Engineer and Medic.

Medic counted under his breath. "_Ein, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, siebe, acht.._" Heavy was the only one who had not raised his hand, but nodded in acceptance after seeing the entire team vote with the Engineer.

Spy stood up, nodding curtly to the rest of the team. "Gentlemen, I suggest you pack your bags." With that he strode out of the room.

The rest of the team disbanded without another word, with the exception of Medic, Sniper, and Engie. Sniper pulled out a road map from his vest pocket (no one was too terribly surprised to discover that he had been carrying one around).

"Alright," he said, pointing at a star on the map. "Here's us. The nearest maps are.. here, here, and... here." He pointed at three circles on the map.

"They're all over to the West," Engie commented.

"Exactly," Sniper responded. "So we head north east. We stick to side roads, we don't ever go on the main roads. Easier to track us there."

"It seems like you have been putting quite a lot of time into zis," Medic commented with a raised brow.

"Maybe I have," Sniper admitted quietly. "But look. We've got two vehicles. My camper, which can hold maybe 5, and Doc's van which can hold four at best, the doves taken into account."

"So you, the spook, Demo, Sol, and me in one van," Engie decided suddenly, "and Doc, Scout, Heavy, and Pyro in the other."

Instantly Medic and Sniper both began protesting. "But I can't be with the Spook-!" "I think Scout vould much prefer _Herr_ Sniper's van-" "Demo and Solly in the SAME CAR?!-"

"Look, we all know that these are the teams that get the job done." Engie deadpanned. "You and Spook may hate each other, but what it really comes down to is that, from a professional point of view, you're a great team. Same goes for Sol and Demo. Doc, you with the Heavy and Pyro is the best combo I can think of. And... well, we had to stick Scout somewhere."

Sniper grunted grudgingly in response, but both he and Medic had to agree. Engie had a point.

"You can lead," Medic told Sniper. "You know your vay around better zhen I do." Sniper nodded and folded up the map again, tipping his hat to the two of them and heading off to his van (as much as he was looking forward to going out in the rain again.).

Scout stopped Sniper as he had just barely left the kitchen. "What do you think is actually goin' on?" He asked. "I mean, we ain't ever had ta fight on da weekend before now, and... the respawn's down and junk..."

Sniper looked around, as if expecting the Admin herself to be listening in. "Listen, mate," he said quietly. "The Admin's always been a bit dodgy when it comes to her sanity. But this? She's not even trying to be subtle anymore. She wants us dead. So I suggest..." He looked around one more time, as if for emphasis, "'ya watch your back." He straightened up and strolled out again. Scout, half terrified and half confused, watched him walk through the doors and then break out in a frenzied sprint to the van, clutching his hat.

Scout sighed and walked back into his room, tossing some random clothes (they were all the same outfit) into a bag. He looked around the room. Nothing much at all in here, he thought to himself. He walked over to the closet and dug around through several pairs of running shoes for something in the back. He pulled it out and sat down in the middle of the floor, opening the small cardboard box carefully.

The baseball cards sat, lined up in perfect order in the box. They all had their own cover, all in mint condition.

He carefully removed the first card in the lineup of baseball cards. The writing was still there- he always worried about it rubbing off- even though he had held the card thousands of times now. It always said the same thing, even though every time he hoped it would say something different. It only said five words. Five words. That was all he would ever from his father.

_**I'm proud of you, Sport.**_

The RED Scout tucked it away in the bottom of his bag, slinging it over his shoulder, and left his room for the last time.


	3. The journey begins

**[One of the reviewers brought up a very good point- how the heck did Engie make toast if the power was out? Well, we know that the storm started around 12 because that's when Scout was awake so he would know. Engie was already in the kitchen by 3 which was when the huge thunder hit- so we can assume the power went out sometime between 12 and 3, and we can also assume Engie woke up between these hours. The power could have easily gone out after the big boom at 3- since it would take a few minutes for Medic to actually get out of his lab and to the kitchen- and Engie had been up earlier than that to make said toast. I guess.**

** Truth is I totally skipped over that somehow... whoops. Thank you for pointing that out!**

** Thanks to everyone for continued support on the story!**

** Disclaimer: still don't own TF2]**

Spy had just closed his bag and gone to open his door when it was flung open in his face by Sniper. "C'mon, we don't got all day," the Bushman said impatiently. "Everybody else is already waitin' by the vans!"

Spy scowled. "Well excuse me for actually putting _effort_ into something I do," he retorted, walking out into the hallway anyways.

"You're ridin' with Soldier, Demo, Engie, and me," Sniper informed him. "And before you can complain, I ain't the one who decided on this." He turned to head back outside before pausing to call over his shoulder, "And trust me, I'm just as upset as you are!"

Seething, Spy slammed his door shut and waited several seconds before heading outside of the base. He was certain the entire team was out to mock him at this point, being paired up with the most idiotic of all the imbeciles on this team. At least he could be there to keep things from completely falling apart.

Outside the team had split up into their two groups, huddling underneath the base's overhang for shelter from the rain. Medic was over with the Engineer, both of them pointing at a road map and discussing things rather heatedly. Sniper was standing over by Demo and Soldier, and Spy walked over, head in his hands. "_Please _tell me that I am not stuck in the van with all _three _of you?" He groaned.

"WHAT EXACTLY IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, CROUTON?!" Soldier demanded, examining Spy with a cynical glare from underneath his helmet. Spy muttered something under his breath and stalked back over to Engineer and Medic.

"Please let me trade places with ze Scout," he begged. Medic distractedly waved a hand in Spy's general direction, mumbling something; clearly he was focusing on the map.

"No," Engie said firmly. "It's already been decided! Besides, we're going to head out in a few minutes. If Medic ever finishes... whatever it is he's doing," he said, with all the confidence in the world that Medic was actually doing something worth their time.

"No one thought about food or sleep," Medic suddenly burst out. "I do not know anything about zis place!"

"Sniper's leading," Engie reminded him. "He'll know when to stop for food and where the good motels are. Don't worry. We're all going to be absolutely fine."

Scout called over to them from besides Medic's van. "So are we goin' or what? We ain't got all day!" He pointed at a watch that he didn't actually have as if it helped make any kind of point. Engie rolled his eyes and tossed the folded-up map towards Spy.

"Well," he said, looking around. "I guess we'd better get going." He looked at Medic. "Be careful."

Medic nodded wordlessly and walked over to the van. "FINALLY," yelled Scout, tugging furiously on passenger door. "I get shotgun!"

"Nyet," Heavy sneered. "Little Scout gets back seat with Pyro." Scout looked at the firebug, who gave him a friendly wave. He collapsed into a heap on the ground, groaning dramatically. Medic rolled his eyes and unlocked the van, and his group piled in. Scout carefully arranged the dove cages in such a way that he didn't have to be remotely close to Pyro in the back seat of the van.

"Look," Sniper said meanwhile in his van. "This area," he motioned to the entire back half of the camper, "is my area. None of you will even get _close_ to my area. This," he motioned over to the wall, "is the kitchen. None of you will even _touch_ the kitchen unless you want the whole entire thing to burn to the ground."

"So, basically," Spy said, clearly bored, "we can sit on this couch and these bunk beds." He waved a careless hand at the two beds stacked along the wall, the top one of which Demo was currently passed out on.

Sniper nodded."Exactly." Spy pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered under his breath, climbing over the couch to the passenger seat.

Soldier looked back and forth between the uncomfortable looking couch and Spy. "Why does he get shotgun?" He demanded Sniper.

Engie had already gotten himself situated, lounging on the couch and writing something down in a notebook. He glanced up for a brief second. "Because I said so," he responded, looking back down. "Are we about ready to head out?"

Sniper gave a weary glance in Soldier's direction, but nodded and clambered over to the driver's seat. He reached into the side of the door and grabbed something, tossing it at Spy, who caught it and turned it over in his hands. It was a walkie-talkie. "So we don't lose each other," Sniper clarified. Spy raised an eyebrow.

"I mean... the other van! And us! Not... you and me!" Sniper outburst, flailing his arms around and blabbering like an idiot to clear up his mistake.

"Obviously," Spy rolled his eyes. "Why would I want to stay around a filthy bushman like you?"

Wordlessly, Sniper practically rammed the key into the slot and started up his van, ignoring the snickering of Soldier from behind him. Spy pressed the button on the side of the radio. "Are we ready to go?" He asked.

There was muffled voices from the other radio. "The heck is this?!" A staticy voice broke out.

"Scout, give me zat!"

"Oho, is this how we're gonna talk to Sniper and those guys?"

"Yes, but-"

"So how do I get it to work?"

"You _give it back!"_

"GIVE DOKTOR THE RADIO, LITTLE MAN!"

Spy sighed and jammed his finger into the button on the side again. "It is already on, you idiot! Give Medic the walkie-talkie so that we can get out of here!"

There was a long pause with silence from the other end before a very flustered-sounding Medic finally spoke up. "Ja, ve are ready to go."

Spy glanced out the rearview mirror at the base one last time before Sniper hit the gas. Quickly they drove out of the gates, one after another, and left for the last time.

Or, at least, what Spy hoped was the last time.


	4. The Magnificent Nine

**I honestly meant for that last chapter to be longer. They will start getting longer, around now... but that last one was a major filler chapter. Yaaay. To be honest, not much goes on for the next few chapters. Just the character interacting and fighting and goofing off. After that... then it gets fun. For me, I mean. This chapter also isn't very long, as the characters are mostly doing not much of anything. **

** Thanks for the reviews you guys! And yes, to clarify, the base uses a gas stove. I don't know much about the sixties but I'm just going to assume those were more commonly used...? Either way that's what the teams use. Yaaay**

** Thank you all for pointing these things out! Usually it's something I just didn't think was that important or I just forgot to clarify, but sometimes I really am quite stupid and I space out on these things.**

** Disclaimer: I will never own TF2**

** ever**

Medic didn't relax until the base was out of sight.

Once he was certain that it had faded away from the mirrors, he loosened his grip on the steering wheel- he hadn't realized he had been gripping it that tightly. They were safe. Relatively. For now.

If anyone else had been talking, he hadn't noticed them- he supposed he'd learned to tune them out- but apparently, they were, or at least Scout was. Because he was still talking now.

"How do ya' even read this, though?" He was holding the road map, unfolding it to a much larger size than necessary and turning it around. "How do ya' even know where we are on da map?"

Pyro pointed at a random spot and mumbled something. Scout tilted his head to the side and they both stared at it for several long seconds.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure dat's not even the state we're in. Sorry Pyro."

"Give ze map to someone else if you do not know how to read it," Medic said crossly to Scout.

Scout huffed indignantly. "I know how to read it! I'm not _stupid._" He propped the map up and sank down in his seat.

For a few minutes there was a peaceful silence- Medic focusing on the road, Pyro staring out the window, Heavy... well, he was typically very quiet in the base, and Scout pouting under the cover of the road map.

"When are we gonna stop for food?" Scout piped up, shattering the quiet.

Medic looked at the clock. "Ve have only been driving for less zan an hour!" He pointed out.

"Yeah, but hardhat's the only one who even _ate."_

"Zat's what you get for sleeping in."

"I was up at freakin' 3 in da mornin'! You call that not sleepin' in?! I ain't gonna wake up hours early just to get some freakin' toast!"

"Scout, where are we on map?" Heavy broke up the argument between the two mercenaries. Medic shot him a grateful look at the reason to get Scout to shut up.

There was the sound of papers being turned and crumpled repeatedly. "Here," Scout said confidently, shoving the map in front of Heavy's face.

There was a pause. "Dat is Canada," Heavy said after a long while.

Scout snatched the map back. "You expect me to remember geography and dat crap?" He exploded at Medic, who was grinning.

"I expect you to know vhat _country_ you are in," he responded.

"I know what country we're in, I just don't know where it is on a freakin' map!"

"How about you give _Herr _Heavy the map and you can... talk vith Pyro."

Scout sighed dramatically and thrust the papers towards Heavy, who took them and went immediately to studying them. Scout turned and glanced towards Pyro, who was staring out the window and humming some song. "Pyro doesn't wanna talk," Scout whined.

"You did not ask him," Medic shot back quickly.

"Her," corrected Heavy.

"Let's not start this argument again," Scout interjected. It was a constantly held argument at base, seeing as Pyro never bothered to tell anyone its real gender.

"Listen to your... music," Medic suggested.

Scout groaned. "Why don't we just stop for food or somethin'?"

Heavy turned around and slammed the walkie-talkie into his hand. "There. Little man is now entertained." He turned around and went back to his map.

"Fine, I'll ask Snipes," Scout decided venomously. He pushed the button. "Yo, Snipes?"

It was Engie that answered. "Sniper's... busy right now." The sound of arguing was prominent in the background. "What do 'ya need, Scout?"

"I need _food._ I'm freakin' starving to death, man!" Scout exclaimed.

"You ain't starvin' to death."

"I am so. How would you know?" There was no response from Engie, but Scout could clearly hear Sniper and Spy going at it again, though over what, he had no idea. Sometimes they fought without reason.

"MAGGOT," Soldier's voice exploded from the radio. Scout flinched and fumbled for the dropped walkie-talkie. "YOU SHOULD CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY! I had to go for _weeks_ without food and I never complained. Not ONCE!"

"Dat's a lie if I ever heard one," Scout sneered.

"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU-"

A loud clang sounded from the other end. "Sniper and Spy are fightin' enough for the lot of us! You aren't gonna even _start. _Scout, stop whinin'. You can hold off for a few more hours. I'm sure the Doc has somethin' to entertain ya'." Engie reasoned.

"But he doesn't-"

"_Then don't bother the rest of us about it!"_

Engie set down the walkie-talkie and returned his attention to the map in front of him. He had grabbed it from the front seat once Sniper and Spy had started a yelling match. He didn't think that the two of them even knew what they were fighting about, implying they ever did.

It was sort of exciting, now that they were away from the Admin. They were driving through the West- middle of nowhere, almost like convicts. It was like something out of a good Western movie. Engie figured if he ever got home again he'd write somethin' up about that. He considered himself a decent writer- his kids enjoyed it, anyways. He had three- Louise, who was 11 when he left (he wasn't quite sure how long ago that was), James, who was 8, and Michael, who was only 5.

He fingered the teddy bear he kept in his tool belt. It had been Michael's. He gave it to him as a gift when he went off to work at Mann. Co.; Engie had promised to keep it safe.

And he still held to that promise.

He looked out the window of the camper van at the flying scenery; it was sort of hard to focus, what with Sniper not paying that much attention to where they were actually going. The sun was finally starting to rise- it was nearly 4 in the morning at this point, maybe a little later. The sun sure did rise early this time of year- it was still poking through the black clouds even now. He had to remind himself it was still summer, even with one heck of a storm hitting right now.

He had been ignoring the walkie-talkie for a while- Scout was the only one to come on it, and even that was rare: he mostly came on when he had a stupid question to ask or just wanted someone to talk to. Solly picked it up once to tell him (rather, yell at him) to stop talking and enjoy the scenery.

Soldier had been sitting back, relatively quietly, for the duration of the drive. It was unlike him. Engie supposed everyone had a breaking point, especially when faced with something they didn't know how to handle, and apparently this was it for Sol. No amount of yelling could solve this.

They sure were trying, though. This was a risky choice to make- the BLU team had probably already been killed just for the choice the RED team had made to escape. There was no doubt about that, really. It was a shame they never got to figure out which team was a clone of the other. It would be rather unfair if they got away with their lives if they turned out to be the clones of the BLU's rather than vice versa.

Even though it was risky, it was worth it. They could get far away from the Admin- oh yes, she had seen them, that much was certain. But it was all about not letting her catch them.

New Mexico was a somewhat flat state- lots of desert and not much to hide behind, so they would just have to take the more abandoned routes, stay out of sight. The Admin was a powerful woman, but not _that _powerful. They could escape her eyes for a long enough time to think of a real plan.

The yelling match between Sniper and Spy (Engie had concluded that it had something to do with Sniper's choice of a food stop for lunch- he had somehow predicted where they would end up around noon or so) was just a droning in the background now. Demo was too drunk to wake up long enough to even really figure out where they were. He'd probably have a heart attack once he woke up and realized that they weren't in base.

Sniper and Spy had been fighting most of the trip, anyways. It was no surprise- they were forced to work together for once, which wasn't something that they particularly enjoyed doing; and they definitely weren't any good at it.

He glanced at the radio as Scout came on again. "Pyro's humming really loudly and it won't shut up," the young man whined. Engie chuckled as he heard distinct humming in the background.

He reached over and picked it up. "Just ignore it. Why don't 'ya read a book or somethin', Scout?"

There was a long pause. "Doc, you got any books or somethin'?"

Another pause.

"Medic doesn't have any books," Scout wailed, back on the radio.

"How about after we stop I give you one of mine to read," Engie offered.

"Yeah, I guess. Is it one of those dumb cowboy books or 'dat crap?" Scout asked.

"Everybody loves a good Western," Engie replied crossly. "'Sides, I don't think you're in any place to be complaining."

"If giving Scout a book vill get him to be quiet for a _second,_ I like the idea," Medic called into the radio.

So everything was normal, then.


End file.
